Goats Go to Hell Cake


Shoooo-ee! Look at all them raspberries!

This is the cake I made for my dear Husbo’s surprise birthday party. It’s made with devil’s food cake and goat cheese, hence its unusual name: Goats Go to Hell Cake.

(It’s also a reference to a song by the band Cake — what a stunning coincidence, right?!)

It’s not too sweet, but it’s still quite rich. It strikes a tangy, creamy note with fresh raspberries and a couple types of soft cheese, and it’s terribly unique.

Here’s how you do it:



serves a crowd

Any devil’s food cake
2 Tbsp. almond flavoring
1 jar raspberry jam
16 oz. fresh raspberries
8 oz. ricotta
8 oz. cream cheese
8 oz. goat cheese
3/4 c. sugar
Any dark chocolate frosting
Wax paper

First of all, bake up a double recipe of your favorite devil’s food cake. Use any recipe you like, or even use a boxed cake mix. I won’t tell. Just add the almond flavoring when you’re mixing it up.

Next, make (or buy) your favorite, fudgiest dark chocolate frosting. Good. Moving on.

With a large spoon, stir together the room-temperature cheeses and sugar. Rinse and sort the berries, removing any sad or fuzzy ones.

Cut your cake layers in half. Spread the first layer with a thick slathering of the cheese mixture, followed by a thinner spread of raspberry jam and a scattering of flattened-out raspberries. Top with the other half of the cake layer. Spread some frosting on top of that. Repeat until you’re out of cake.

You can frost the outside if you want, but there’s already a lot going on that shouldn’t be overpowered by too much sweetness and extra chocolate. Plus, this whole rustic, unfrosted-cake look is very of-the-moment, and we must always be of-the-moment, my little housewifey friends.

Now, if you want to halve the recipe and stack up just a couple layers, you go for it. If you want a big, towering hot mess like the one here, you need to do some engineering. Even with lots of engineering, your cake may lean or fall over. I recommend serving it as soon as possible post-construction.

To build a cake-ziggurat, first make sure you’ve baked your cake in pans of several different diameters, and make sure there’s enough contrast between those diameters. I do believe I went with 11-, 8-, and 4-inch pans.

Next, cut out cardboard circles for the top two sections of cake. E.g., I did an 8-inch circle and a 4-inch circle. Put wax paper on top of the circles.

After that, get wooden dowels about as big around as really fat kebab skewers. In fact, you can use really fat kebab skewers if you’ve got ’em handy. Stick four of them into the bottom layers of constructed cake (two cake layers, cheese, jam, raspberries, and frosting). Using a wire cutter or some such implement, snip the sticks until they’re level with the cake. Place the first cardboard circle on top, and construct the second section on top of that. Repeat the bit with the sticks in the second section, and put the final cardboard circle and cake section on top of that.

Garnish with any extra raspberries, and accessorize with candles, toppers, or whatever the occasion demands.

Ta-da! You’ve done it!

I certainly don’t recommend attempting a death pyramid like this in any kind of heat. And you’ll have to deconstruct it before cutting. But it makes a heck of a statement, no?


One thought on “Goats Go to Hell Cake

  1. Pingback: Surprise! | The Single Housewife

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